Being Responsible

Yesterday at work we had a guest speaker, Andy Andrews. I had written his bio for many different events and was spurred on in curiosity to read his book, The Traveler’s Gift last year. I wasn’t too into it, due mainly to the writing, but the thoughts were good. A man down on his luck travels through time to meet with seven famous people. They each teach him a lesson, a decision. Each decision is a fundamental tool people should use to find meaning and success in their lives. Being as I dropped my life coach, I found it easy to grasp onto this thought, at least for the time being. And as usual when I do that, I got tested.

The first decision is delivered by U.S. President, “Give ‘em Hell” Harry Truman; The Buck Stops Here. It’s about being responsible and taking on responsibility for your life. I always thought I was very responsible, but as of late I had come to count on people more for help whether it’s my fence issues, the pups or just for companionship. The buck stops here and I can’t blame anyone for these things not getting done or not being done well, except myself. I am where I am because of who I was. That’s why the fit feels sort of weird.

I control it all, my thoughts, mind, feelings, endeavors and all other aspects of my life. Not that I will always make the right decisions when it comes to things, but that’s OK too. I can always try to turn them around.

Part of this Traveler’s Gift is an exercise using a calendar and the power of habit forming. For 21 days, I am supposed to read the passage both morning and night and then try to live it. And this first day has been hard. Last night Finn had a panic attack and I was up all night calming him down and empathizing so deeply with him that I wept until my eyes were swollen. Yes I was a wreck at work today. I was angry last night for my plight of taking care of other pets, having to be alone when I was so scared and even taking on this particular role as mom. When I got up, I read the passage and came to terms with the thought that it was all my choice and responsibility. I chose to help my best friend out with watching her dogs. I chose to count on someone to be there when it got bad, and it was the wrong person for that role. And I chose to be a dog lover.

This gave me a sense of peace, and Finn was also peaceful too. I have to trust and rely upon myself and only myself and my choices. I know I can’t do it all by myself, but I have some friends and such who I know I can count on.

So tonight I will re-read this passage and reflect on how I did today. Because it is all about me and my decisions. Even the bad ones.

Change of Life

Though the world hasn’t found time to slow down, I figured I would make time to write, at least a wee bit. Life has been running non-stop with little Finn and now my new addition, Polly, his sister. Call it postpartum depression or just sanity setting in, but I constantly wonder, “Why did I choose to do this?” But then I look into their eyes, get puppy kisses and realize though my life is turned upside down, it is only a different way of looking at things.

It was hard enough with one, but Polly needed a good place to live where she would be loved. I just had to do it. Plus it keeps Finn happy since he has separation-anxiety issues. One reason, among several hundred, I never wanted children is because I didn’t want to be responsible for fucking them up. Well I don’t know if it is me or just his disposition, but Finn hates being left alone and is my constant shadow. Polly distracts him since she is very normal doggish playing with her tail, chasing the cats and just abounding with energy until she drops.

During the puppy shower I threw for Finn, and I guess Polly and Angus too, Finnegan slept like he had never slept before. He didn’t want to be put down and let himself be passed along from person to person to adore him. He had is first major outing this past weekend with a stop at Georgie’s and the Indian Festival on Friday night and an all-day outing on Saturday to Ybor for the Fiesta Day Celebration and back to Georgie’s for cocktails. His quiet nature really was perfect for these kinds of things, but with Polly in tow now, I will have to rethink since she is a spitfire.
This “Who Moved My Cheese” moment means that I don’t sleep much anymore, I have to watch where I step since it could be an puppy accident that didn’t wait to happen, it’s almost impossible to get the house to some semblance of not a pig sty and find time to maybe workout, but nothing else of pleasure. But I do love it in some weirdly obscene way.

My only time-off is when I get lost in LOST. I never got into the show, until about three weeks ago when I gave it another shot from the beginning. Now I’m hooked and only four seasons behind everyone else. It is my only quiet time when Finn, Polly and Misha sleep snuggled against me on the couch and I can lose myself in 42 minutes of “What The Hell Just Happened?”

I haven’t been the best weight watcher, but I am still losing, though the first 10 pounds seems to be the hardest to lose. But I have crafted some pretty special recipes, and found others, to make it not so monotonous. Check out the mushroom recipe below.

And things are only getting more hectic. This weekend I am babysitting Angus and Fiona for 6 days and next weekend I have friends coming into town from Dallas. I am looking forward to both adventures, but have kept the following weekend free and clear for just me.

Stuffed Mushrooms
I got this recipe from Giada, but I made it a bit more healthy and with a one point value. Plus I found that if there are any left over, or you put some to the side when you make them, you can use them in an omelet the next morning.

Button mushrooms
Roasted red or yellow peppers
Scallions
Olives (stuffed or not) or capers
Parsley or basil
Salt and pepper
Dash of hot sauce

Clean the mushrooms and take out the stems leaving the caps to stuff. Fine chop the stems, peppers, scallions, olives and herbs. Season and add hot sauce to taste. Stuff each cap with the mixture and bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes.

I figured 4 caps is about a point. I made this as an appetizer for friends and they loved it, even picky Patty. You can also add Parmesan cheese (changes the points). I used almond stuffed olives the first time and it was amazing, but I love nuts and olives together.

The next morning I took the three I had left, and chopped them up to add to my egg-white omelet. It was so yummy. Lots of flavor without anything bad. So healthy for the body and soul.