Being Responsible

Yesterday at work we had a guest speaker, Andy Andrews. I had written his bio for many different events and was spurred on in curiosity to read his book, The Traveler’s Gift last year. I wasn’t too into it, due mainly to the writing, but the thoughts were good. A man down on his luck travels through time to meet with seven famous people. They each teach him a lesson, a decision. Each decision is a fundamental tool people should use to find meaning and success in their lives. Being as I dropped my life coach, I found it easy to grasp onto this thought, at least for the time being. And as usual when I do that, I got tested.

The first decision is delivered by U.S. President, “Give ‘em Hell” Harry Truman; The Buck Stops Here. It’s about being responsible and taking on responsibility for your life. I always thought I was very responsible, but as of late I had come to count on people more for help whether it’s my fence issues, the pups or just for companionship. The buck stops here and I can’t blame anyone for these things not getting done or not being done well, except myself. I am where I am because of who I was. That’s why the fit feels sort of weird.

I control it all, my thoughts, mind, feelings, endeavors and all other aspects of my life. Not that I will always make the right decisions when it comes to things, but that’s OK too. I can always try to turn them around.

Part of this Traveler’s Gift is an exercise using a calendar and the power of habit forming. For 21 days, I am supposed to read the passage both morning and night and then try to live it. And this first day has been hard. Last night Finn had a panic attack and I was up all night calming him down and empathizing so deeply with him that I wept until my eyes were swollen. Yes I was a wreck at work today. I was angry last night for my plight of taking care of other pets, having to be alone when I was so scared and even taking on this particular role as mom. When I got up, I read the passage and came to terms with the thought that it was all my choice and responsibility. I chose to help my best friend out with watching her dogs. I chose to count on someone to be there when it got bad, and it was the wrong person for that role. And I chose to be a dog lover.

This gave me a sense of peace, and Finn was also peaceful too. I have to trust and rely upon myself and only myself and my choices. I know I can’t do it all by myself, but I have some friends and such who I know I can count on.

So tonight I will re-read this passage and reflect on how I did today. Because it is all about me and my decisions. Even the bad ones.