Saturday, May 24, 2008

'Cause you gotta have friends - Day 14

It seems that recently I have been inundated with the word “friend” and the concepts behind this mystical term. Almost daily, I seem to attract new people into my life. Some last a few pleasurable moments while others are short enough to not be too disturbing. If there isn’t a future partnership, there may be a great story to be written or told. They could also be a conduit through whose help a likely spirit does appear. I grow with each person I come in contact with though most, I admit, I don’t regard fully enough, while others I disregard entirely and later regret it.

So it seemed like a bit of a self dare to think about what “friend” means to me. Some take the term very seriously, like an honor that should only be doled out to specific persons for specific favors. Others use the term lightly to represent anyone they associate with. Yet there are the differentiators of “work friends”, “old friends”, “new friends”, “Army buddies”, school friends” and “drinking buddies” just to name a few.
I have met people who have “friends” and “those they are friendly with”, as well as some who only bestow the title to those who fit within their conclave of interests, likes/dislikes, or extremes on either end of the spectrum.

I will first add this disclaimer, these are my views which are broad to some and narrow to others, but solely my own. Everyone has what they are comfortable with.

I don’t set out to find people as friends. Customized in my own thoughts and designs, I have had the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life, backgrounds, belief systems and interests. Some people I have a lot in common with, some very little, but on a soulful level they are my friends. And that is the easiest way for me to clarify it – it’s at a soul level, beyond physical or mental or emotional. There are some people who at first glance seem like those who I could be friends with forever, but there is nothing but a passing, like a great one-night stand. But still a few words of small talk have introduced me to people I love. I think of small talk sort of like masturbation - it's entertaining, sometimes fulfilling and is great when shared with another.

These companions have revved-up my life with charming moments that still make me giggle and smile. The connection with them is so tight that even if we don’t talk or e-mail for months, when we do again, it is like no time has passed and we both gush with graciousness for one another.

Some friends were made to come into my life and then go. It was sort of an upgrade for us both. I appreciate the time we spent together and what I learned, but some things are made to be set free, including soulful exchanges. But most have transformed, in a way, with me and that is why some of my friendships are almost 2 decades long. I know that is short for some, but each day is appreciated by me.

I have been enhanced by the broken stereotypes of these people, as well as their involvement in my own oddities. Enriched by each, I look forward to the years to come.

Whether gay, straight, man, woman, married, single, divorced, with kids, without, hippie, diva, princess, dog-lover, cat-lover, teacher, artist, G-man, chef, punk, metal head, traveler, home body, mystic, knitter, retired, corporate, freelance, stay-at-home or drama queen, I proudly stand by them during quarrels with mom, divorce, new children, illness, unemployment, death, life, hopes to come, a happy-hour cocktail, a great meal, a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

That's what friends are for. A toast to you all (I won't even try to name you because I will forget someone and them I am screwed - exit one friend), you know who you are. What is your definition of a friend?


misschris said...

I've been thinking about this a lot lately too as you know.

I like your definition of small talk. I am not against small talk I am just severely handicapped. I cannot do it! If I try to I feel like I'm reading a script from a play and it sounds awkward to me and I get very flustered. I know it´s important and I get that it´s a sedgeway into building relationships (like I said I am awed the people who do it well) but verbally challenged and it sucks.

Hmmm...a friend is someone who doesn´t judge you. That´s about as basic as it gets.

Have you seen this adorable video on youtube. Seann loves it.

callenstewart said...

A friend is someone who knows your weaknesses and faults but loves you anyway.