Today, Paul and I celebrate our one-year anniversary. Well …
it is the chronological date of our anniversary, but we’ll be celebrating later
this week when there isn’t a threat of a level 3 weather event occurring. Last
year it was a beautiful 75 degrees and sunny, today it’s gray, cold and we’re
bracing for an ice storm. And that’s OK. I have him for the rest of my life so
a little celebration can wait.
Many wives feel that they are the luckiest people alive to
have their spouses in their lives, and we all are right. There are quite a lot
of lucky people in this world. Here are just 10 simple reasons while I feel
that I am the luckiest:
10. Makes me laugh
every day. Not that every day is a laughfest, but we can at least chuckle
every day whether it’s a pun, a tickle, a joke or just a funny original
Christmas song.
9. Treats strangers
well. I have learned that if a person doesn’t treat the check-out clerk, a
server or any stranger in the community well, then they won’t treat those they
love well. He always has a smile for people and kind words, never judging or
making fun of someone less fortunate or in a different circumstance. He's
always compassionate and kind to others.
8. Brought me closer
on my spiritual journey. I’ve been on a spiritual journey seeking a greater
connection to God and wanting to learn more about God trying out different
belief systems for size and never seeming to fit. Paul then introduced me to
the United Church of Christ with inclusion for all, love and understanding for
all, and peace and justice for all – but no hypocrisy. I found that it’s OK
(and even encouraged) to question traditional beliefs and I feel closer to God
than ever before.
7. Loves my dog(s)
and kitties. Paul instantly loved my puppies Finn and Polly and though his
dog Millie wasn’t too keen on them, we easily melded into a family. He even
placated his allergies to like my cats Misha and Lassie. Paul was there to
comfort me when it was time for Finn to pass and he helped me understand my
feelings – even when I said I hated God. Paul told me that it was OK to be
angry at God at the time, God was big enough to get over it.
6. Asked me to marry
him (sort of) on our third date. “So how do you think you would feel being
a pastor’s wife?” was the question presented to the girl who liked to spend her
weekends bar hopping and partying. “I could do it, but I still want to wear
cool clothes and drink martinis,” was the response. We had a deal.
5. Gives me what he
calls “Grace Gifts” often. A “Grace Gift” is a gift of something that is
precious to you that holds more than monetary value and is from your heart with
nothing expected in return. The paintings he does for Christmas gifts, the
sharing of his time playing cards together, a book he just knew I would love,
doing the dishes after I cooked dinner, letting me sleep in while he walks the
dogs, getting me a glass of wine while I relax in a bath. These are all the
perfect gift of his time, his heart and his love.
4. Has great timing.
Paul entered my life at the perfect time. I was over dating and wanted someone
that was a hundred times better than anyone I dated before. If I couldn’t have
that I had resigned myself to living a long life with my gay best friend. Two
days before Paul and I had our first date, my gay best friend found his soul
mate (though we didn’t know it at the time). It all seemed to work out. I was a
different woman than before and this new lady needed a new and sparkling man –
enter Paul, my one-day husband.
3. Can be ourselves
even as a couple. Individuality is important to me, and with Paul I can be
who I am and who I want to be. I have been a golf widow on more than one occasion
leaving no guilt trip when he wants to spend a weekend on the course or
watching a big tournament. He understands when I want a day to stay in my
meditation room just reading or going out exploring by myself. I have my likes
and dislikes, as does he, but we go on being ourselves and in love with one
another.
2. Makes me a better
person with more love, kindness, heart and hope to give. I don’t think
about me so much anymore. People say that when you have kids you realize life
isn’t about you anymore. I believe you don’t have to have offspring to open
yourself up and give yourself away. Paul and I aren’t on the kid path, but I
have learned to be so much less selfish and so much more giving being with him.
It’s not about giving my life for a little baby, it’s about giving my life away
for everyone!
1. Loves me with all
his heart. That says it all. And I love him with all of mine.
