Sunday, December 8, 2013

Happy Anniversary Paul – 40 Days of Thankfulness

Today, Paul and I celebrate our one-year anniversary. Well … it is the chronological date of our anniversary, but we’ll be celebrating later this week when there isn’t a threat of a level 3 weather event occurring. Last year it was a beautiful 75 degrees and sunny, today it’s gray, cold and we’re bracing for an ice storm. And that’s OK. I have him for the rest of my life so a little celebration can wait.

Many wives feel that they are the luckiest people alive to have their spouses in their lives, and we all are right. There are quite a lot of lucky people in this world. Here are just 10 simple reasons while I feel that I am the luckiest:

10. Makes me laugh every day. Not that every day is a laughfest, but we can at least chuckle every day whether it’s a pun, a tickle, a joke or just a funny original Christmas song.
9. Treats strangers well. I have learned that if a person doesn’t treat the check-out clerk, a server or any stranger in the community well, then they won’t treat those they love well. He always has a smile for people and kind words, never judging or making fun of someone less fortunate or in a different circumstance. He's always compassionate and kind to others.
8. Brought me closer on my spiritual journey. I’ve been on a spiritual journey seeking a greater connection to God and wanting to learn more about God trying out different belief systems for size and never seeming to fit. Paul then introduced me to the United Church of Christ with inclusion for all, love and understanding for all, and peace and justice for all – but no hypocrisy. I found that it’s OK (and even encouraged) to question traditional beliefs and I feel closer to God than ever before.
7. Loves my dog(s) and kitties. Paul instantly loved my puppies Finn and Polly and though his dog Millie wasn’t too keen on them, we easily melded into a family. He even placated his allergies to like my cats Misha and Lassie. Paul was there to comfort me when it was time for Finn to pass and he helped me understand my feelings – even when I said I hated God. Paul told me that it was OK to be angry at God at the time, God was big enough to get over it.
6. Asked me to marry him (sort of) on our third date. “So how do you think you would feel being a pastor’s wife?” was the question presented to the girl who liked to spend her weekends bar hopping and partying. “I could do it, but I still want to wear cool clothes and drink martinis,” was the response. We had a deal.
5. Gives me what he calls “Grace Gifts” often. A “Grace Gift” is a gift of something that is precious to you that holds more than monetary value and is from your heart with nothing expected in return. The paintings he does for Christmas gifts, the sharing of his time playing cards together, a book he just knew I would love, doing the dishes after I cooked dinner, letting me sleep in while he walks the dogs, getting me a glass of wine while I relax in a bath. These are all the perfect gift of his time, his heart and his love.
4. Has great timing. Paul entered my life at the perfect time. I was over dating and wanted someone that was a hundred times better than anyone I dated before. If I couldn’t have that I had resigned myself to living a long life with my gay best friend. Two days before Paul and I had our first date, my gay best friend found his soul mate (though we didn’t know it at the time). It all seemed to work out. I was a different woman than before and this new lady needed a new and sparkling man – enter Paul, my one-day husband.
3. Can be ourselves even as a couple. Individuality is important to me, and with Paul I can be who I am and who I want to be. I have been a golf widow on more than one occasion leaving no guilt trip when he wants to spend a weekend on the course or watching a big tournament. He understands when I want a day to stay in my meditation room just reading or going out exploring by myself. I have my likes and dislikes, as does he, but we go on being ourselves and in love with one another.
2. Makes me a better person with more love, kindness, heart and hope to give. I don’t think about me so much anymore. People say that when you have kids you realize life isn’t about you anymore. I believe you don’t have to have offspring to open yourself up and give yourself away. Paul and I aren’t on the kid path, but I have learned to be so much less selfish and so much more giving being with him. It’s not about giving my life for a little baby, it’s about giving my life away for everyone!
1. Loves me with all his heart. That says it all. And I love him with all of mine. 

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