It Is A Merry Christmas - Puppy Pics

Here are the new puppy pics. Mom and pups are doing fine and Dad is smart enough to stay away. Thanks to Patty for being such a great friend and wonderful grandma to little Fiona!

Here is the proud mama, Fiona and her pups having a snack!!!

And you thought you had a rough day!

Warm and happy little Pom-a-Pug-a-Russells or something like that.

A tired teenage mom and her brood.

So teeny and tiny. I am so looking forward to being a mom.

I think this may be the one - white stripe and all.

Mom making sure that the pup is fine. She is so sweet!

1,2,3,4,5 .... 6 All accounted for!

Song List

I have been spending my mornings, two so far, riding my bike. I thought it was toast since it had been over a year since I rode and the tires were flatter than flat. But in the despair of having to move my body the other night I pumped up the tires and set loose. This morning I went out for about 30 minutes and explored the adjacent neighborhoods checking out the menagerie of different era homes and landscaping (all big in my sights with the re-dos I am in the process of doing.) Trees are filled with tangerines and oranges and snowless lawns sparkle instead with sweated dew.

I let the iPod pick the tunes and it really did a fine job starting me off with Alive and Kicking (Simple Minds) which got my blood flowing and the burn in my thighs ignited. Respect (Aretha) set me on my path, in yes a clichéd way, as to why I am working so hard to take care of myself. This Corrosion (Sisters of Mercy) sent me to those nights spent in the clubs and finding my niche with the night people (so not me now). As I started to slow down, Rock This Town strung me up to pump even harder and Brian Setzer’s sexy jazz voice made me remember that I used to love dancing to this beat. The iPod then chose Electric Barbarella (Duran Duran) showcased the damned desire for perfection that some people seek no matter how shallow. My mood started to falter as the endorphins seemed to rise and fall (I didn’t know they would do that when one was still in the throws of exercise) and Natural One (Folk Implosion) revved me up again with a drum beat to die for. Finally to slow down, but not pass out In Bloom (Nirvana) rang through my ears and let me work into my day nicely.

All in all, it was a wonderful experience. I felt very alive, very fit and even a bit thinner just taking care of myself. I think this will be a new habit and I wonder what the iPod gods have in store for my ears and soul tomorrow.

Focused

Keeping busy and keeping focused are now my two hobbies. It’s been a week and I feel a bit better since these two companions have kept me at ease, at least the past couple of days. I am focused on creating a healthy and tasty diet and am more focused on what I eat, writing down each portion and being conscious of how I feel before, during and after a meal. It is hard work, but it keeps my mind off of other things and in tune with the future. I shared my new plan with Wayne and Renee and they gushed with enthusiasm first telling me how great I was anyway and then saying how proud of me they were. This will help me stick to it since they believe in me.

I am focused on exercising and staying in motion, keeping busy riding my bike in the morning (takes the place of crying) and working out at the gym after work (tired muscles make everything sort of Zen). I am adopting a new habit of finding fun ways to exercise like riding my bike to Renee’s or downtown to have lunch; going to more of the classes offered at my gym – mainly yoga and body sculpt; riding my bike or walking before work since it feels fresh and crisp and wasn’t something I could do when I wasn’t alone. I even danced around the house yesterday to my teenage favorites creating sort of an 80s new wave/punk aerobics routine. Got to be careful with the ankle though.

I am focused on creating a couple knitted gifts. I am not doing Christmas gifts this year since money is tight all over and I only can knit so much. Instead I am working on a piece for the family gift exchange and a couple overdue birthday gifts. It keeps my hands busy as I watch TV. The TV and Netflix helps me think about something other than my situation so I can only watch sci-fi, comedies (non romantic), adventures, documentaries, crime biographies and cooking shows.

I am focused on finishing Twilight. I am struggling and feel very left out since it seems to be like crack for everyone else who reads it. Edward, the main character, is romance times a thousand and that is a bit hard to handle, but I am going to muddle through, especially since there is supposed to be a big payoff in the end. It keeps me busy as I dive into this green world of vampires, average girls and high school. Honestly, if this was around when I was 16, I would have been all over it since I would have loved a hot young vampire as a boyfriend.

I think that I will go to the Artfest in Safety Harbor this weekend by myself to get back into that mode and maybe spend Saturday downtown getting to know my surroundings again and getting a good ride and walk in. I need to have some sort of schedule or I may become anxious about these changes. I may even cut my hair to further accentuate the change in me.

And all of this seems to be working well. I ignore the love songs, the news of impending doom and the empty words in my head putting me down. Instead I stay focused and ready and upbeat. That in itself is a pretty big job, but someone has to do it.

Taking it Off

I stepped off the limb and took the plunge into who I want to be. I have always fought with my weight and tried so many ways to lose the excess pounds. I always felt alone doing it and I think that is why I failed. Now as my friends get older, I am not alone in my quest or my anticipation of success.

To make it stick even more, I joined Weight Watchers today. I had done a very old WW plan more than 20 years ago and lost 40 pounds, plus the 150 from the ex-boyfriend who dumped me right before. I am at a similar crossroads. So I decided to just do it and treat myself. I love challenges and am excited about using my cooking skills to feed myself as the pounds shed away. Plus I got my bike up and running again tonight, a temporary fix since I think I need new tubes, but my short night-time ride was exhilarating. I am looking forward to tomorrow morning and going for a ride before work to get my blood (and metabolism) in gear.

I am hoping that WW will also give me the support of others to help me through this. It’s hard being alone and struggling with this, but I feel deep down that this is my time. I even made a vision board with images of working-out, healthy and slimmer versions of myself. The other half of that is to keep a positive attitude, which I am usually pretty good at. With just these two goal, I know I can succeed this year since usually I have several goals and only successfully complete two , so now I am on the right track.

It is an exciting time and I finally feel like I can be happy again. That could be the walks, rides and strength training I have been doing all weekend to combat the bad feelings. I am treating this like a part-time job, planning out what to eat for the week, how to keep it lively and how to adapt to any situation. I already feel thinner and healthier inside. I can also feel some of my old soul coming back, the part that housed hope.

Just Me

What a difference a week makes. Last week I toasted to Ronn as a sign of thanks for the past year and for all the Thanksgivings to come. Now I have to strain to be thankful for just me. I don’t know what next Thanksgiving has in store or even Christmas in three weeks or a new year in four. I can’t say much more than that since it could be painful for all involved.

All I do know is that from here on out (for a while at least), it’s just me.

Pick an Excuse

Keeping up with the blogging babble hasn’t been at the top of my list lately. I’ve been too bogged down (gently however) with other ways to spend my time. Pick an excuse:

Thanksgiving –
Planning, executing and recovering took almost a week. I hosted two gatherings; one on Thanksgiving and one the following day with ten people at each, 16 different recipes, and friends and family coming and going. Highlight – Both of my sisters made it over; Cricket on Wednesday night to help me cook all day Thursday and Cathi on Thursday to help enjoy the foods. I really couldn’t have done it without Cricket’s help and I am so glad I hosted my first Thanksgiving Feast with both of them in attendance.

Ronn’s Surgery –
Ronn had surgery on his arm on Wednesday pretty much knocking him out of commission for a couple days, though he did his best to help. Taking care of Ronn, my sisters, the meal and myself kept me pretty tied up. Highlight – He let me drive his truck all day and I loved it, feeling tall, having power and maneuvering all kinds of tight spots helped me overcome my fear of this beast.

Last minute campaigns –
Thinking the week would be slow, I was dumbfounded as I was dropped two new last-minute ad campaigns at work to be turned around within a few days. When I get stressed I shut down a bit and have to talk myself out of the hole I dug do to my fear of failure. Highlight - I got them written and to the designer. We are brainstorming other ideas for a big shot who has the money to have something really cool yet is providing us with no real time to craft something that great.

My time –
Split into two, my time has been filled with reading (The Friday Night Knitting Club) and actual knitting. I have been reading the book for a while and felt spurred on to finish it since it is really good (loved it when I finished) and also to keep up with the other readers at work who have drank the Twilight kool-aid. Not one to normally ride the trendy train, I am intrigued since it isn’t only my younger co-workers who are captured by this tale of “my boyfriend’s a vampire” but also the more mature pals, who like myself are pretty well-read and still can’t put it down. Highlights – finished book number one, started book number 2 last night, have three knitting projects going to be completed by Christmas and watched a great three-hour documentary about Warhol’s Factory People.

So there you have it, my life in a page. I thought of providing substantial paragraphs and entries into this past week and struggling with numbering the wonders of my lovely town, but I just can’t do it right now. One friend said that when my blog becomes work, then I will walk away, but not forever. As a writer, I do find that jotting down even exciting prose all about me can be tiresome and not something to tackle on my off hours. But if you just hold on it’ll be like an infomercial – “But wait there’s more.”